The Feeling of "Miss"

I have joined an amazing league of women this past year, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this feeling of sheer genuine gratitude. I joined to help the underpriviledge youth and in turn realized how it really has helped me and helped me grow.  Not only being a part of such a wonderful organization, but being a part of such a wondeful organization who promotes socializing with your new found friends. 

I have this one friend in particular.  She is amazing.  She speaks English well, but not as her first language.  It wouldn't matter if you couldn't understand her though, because her personality overshines any language barrier you may have. 

She is truly the best. 

She and I like to sit by eachother and talk about our kids, our work, and small talk of course.
I look up to her so much.

One meeting right before the holidays, rifting through the hustle and bustle of organizing our community service, work schedules, and family time, I confided in her how this year was so busy how I just really miss my children.

"I mean I just miss them so much." I had begun to feel guilty about some of the late night community projects, meetings, working, being away from them during the day, and catching up with them in the evenings or on the weekend. I just missed them so much.  It had begun to take a toll on me and I was wondering if I had bitten off more than I could chew. 

My friend, who gets to stay at home more often than I, said so sweetly, "Oh....you miss your children." Almost as if she had been there before. She said to me something that made me feel better and at the same time I had to ponder over her words to make sure I understood her correctly, "I miss that feeling of miss." That's what she told me as she looked at me almost as if she were a teensie weensie bit jealous.

I didn't need to ask, I knew exactly what she meant somehow.
Some people get to be with their children ALL day everyday, that you don't hear very often how much they miss their kids.
I genuinely cherish my moments with my children that don't come along too often.
We enjoy breakfast together.
We enjoy movies together.
We enjoy playing together.
We enjoy reading together.
Constantly laughing and joking.
Although some tears and arguments form.
Melt Downs are well heard of too in our house.

DON'T Get me Wrong here.  The respect I hold for women who stay home with their children is beyond measureable. I think it is one of the toughest most respected jobs ever.

But I have something very special too.

I have the feeling of "miss" for all these moments.

Good and Bad.
Yelling and Quiet.
Fighting and Playing Peacefully.
Dancing and Singing.
I MISS IT ALL.

And I'm lucky that I get to feel that feeling of miss instead of that feeling of 'not again'.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't miss my children while they are at school and I am at work.
While they are at home and I am at meetings.
But at the end of the day I am excited about going home and spending those cherishing moments that I have with them, even if they are melt downs. 

I am happy to come home everyday.

I look at the feeling of miss in a whole new light now.

It may not be ideal to 'miss' your children, but I can truly comprehend the concept of what missing them actually feels like.
And this feeling of 'miss' will not be taken for granted.
I am truly lucky to know what this feels like.