You are 21 months old this month and only three months shy of turning two years old this year. You are such a sweet girl. You love to twirl your mommy's hair. You love to play barbies with your big sister Jacee-Kay. And you really love to eat ramen noodles. Your favorite. I love you so much. The thing you really like almost more than anything is snuggling with your mommy at bedtime. You love Elmo and Foofa. You love to wear your Toodee shirt to bed. You like to take your shoes and socks off when you get home from school. You enjoy all princess movies, especially Snow White. I love rocking you to sleep and love when you get so exhausted, how you turn your sweet little head into my arm. You pretty much do a flip every time, just to get comfortable.
More than all of these things you love your pacifier. You call it your paci. "My Paci" is what you say. It is so sweet. It is the first thing you ask for when I pick you up from school each day. It is the first thing you ask for before bedtime. It is the first thing you wanted when you woke up from your procedures in the hospital. I have never deprived you of your paci. I know how much you truly love it. You truly have needed it to "pacify" situations in life. I have struggled with depriving you of this because you are my baby girl. You mean so much to me and anything to cause you pain and suffering I want to protect you from.
However, I have learned today that you are the only baby left in the 1 year old classroom at daycare who takes a paci still. I feel like I have prolonged the paci phase not only because you love it so much, but because you are my baby.
When the teachers at school are trying to "ween" you off during the day, I only give it to you during the night. You even take a bath with this thing. We own more than ten pacifiers, just in case of emergency situations. ;) There is a special drawer for them and you know where they are! At 21 months old you know where this drawer is! You have never heard the word no when it comes to paci's! In fact, you love them so much that you aren't even inclined to share them with your daddy. He loves to take them away from you and put them in his mouth to see your reaction. It is so funny. You cry out "MY PACI, DADDY!"
You may not find it funny, but we love to trick you for that split second to see how you will respond. After all, you are one of the cutest babies ever. (Jacee-Kay was also the cutest too! Same levels of cuteness and curls! I have been so blessed!)
Last night we decided to take the paci away for good. Weening you off of it has been difficult for you, so COLD TURKEY is what mommy and daddy have decided for you. Night One was so sad. You cried for thirty minutes for the paci and I told you how sorry I was that we could not give it to you. I know you were upset with us. I am proud of you that you went to sleep without it. At four a.m. this morning you awoke searching for your paci. It normally falls off to the side of daddy in bed and you woke him up asking for him to help you. Daddy told you that it wasn't there and to go back to sleep sweet girl. You just cried and kept asking us for it to help you go back to sleep. I sang to you, and it didn't really help that much, but you did eventually fall back to sleep around five a.m.
I just want you to know that this is all for your own good. You are so smart and special to us. We are sorry we waited so long to put you through this stage of no paci. You are our perfect angel, and if we didn't think it was for your own good we wouldn't do this I promise. But maybe after some time you won't miss it as much as you thought you might.
It broke my heart to hide the paci's from you. You have no idea. You went to the drawer this morning to grab one before school even. There weren't any there. I am so sorry. I feel so bad to do this to you. I love you,
Mommy.
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